I can’t really bring myself to make fun of Lance Armstrong (okay, I’ll try a little), but if you haven’t seen the photos and video of this threesome hammering the Malibu Hills then you’re missing some good laughs from the Autobus. The thing is, as Fausto said to me earlier today, Lance is a celebrity now. And when you and your celebrity friends, Jake Gyllenhaal and Matthew McConaughey, head out for a little Tour de Malibu with hairy legs and no cycling kit, you look like dorks. Dorks because one of you is the greatest cyclist and endurance athlete of our time, and while your two friends have some good Hollywood guns, a short 3% Malibu grade has them calling it quits at the liquor store and hitting the Sky Bar.

Of course, the part of all this that has the gossip columns in a tizzy is how comfy these hot, sweaty hunks are together. What are they suggesting? We all know that Jake is a (not-so) stealth one, and we could speculate about Matthew… so that just leads us to Lance. If we spot Jeremy Piven in their peloton, then I think we have our answer for sure: Lance is Jewish.